(Almost) all my own work

A complete cheat today. Not something I've found or been shown from around the web, but my own work (or at least, mostly my own work - thanks Olipro and Mhailie!)

"The British Class System" is my third article for that wonderful site Uncyclopedia.

I hope you like it.

Going down?

Here's another great illusion, from Hemmy.net:


I think I would have to close my eyes to be able to use that elevator, the painting looks amazingly realistic.

This horse goes into a bank...

I've heard a lot of jokes of the "a horse goes into a bar" type. But here's a horse that went into a bank.

It sounds quite implausible, but...

Credit: Ace_NoOne on #Wikia

A superhero in purple

I had a go at creating my own superhero today:


I used the Hero Machine on UGO, which has an amazing number of options. It also has an overly handy blank-all button - which I managed to hit twice. But other than that little annoyance, it's a nice little toy.

Now all I need is a name for her...

Credit: slif3rjam on #uncyclopedia

The feet-kicking joy of broccoli

It's cute time again!

How about this video of a baby hamster filling his pouches with his first taste of broccoli.

Ok, so the presentation of this is rather too cute, even for me. But who could resist those little feet?

Bless...

Credit: Datrio

New phone, new features!

Well, I finally found my new phone (no, I didn't get that one), and that bought to mind one of my favourite articles from my favourite wiki, Uncyclopedia.

This article spawned a wonderful thread on SomethingAwful... got to love it when a joke goes wizzing overhead like that.

Ninjas!

Japanese TV often seems particularly strange to Western eyes. Here's a great dance that originated on a Japanese children's show:

But then, we invented the Birdie Dance...

Credit: Braydie on #uncyclopedia

Meanwhile, at the Joker's hideout

I love the way language changes over time. It's something I would love to find out more about. Words reverse their meaning, become more or less offensive, and lose all connection with the meaning they once had...

YesButNoButYes listed the Top 15 Unintentionally Funny Comic Book Panels. Now there a great way to study the changing language. Wonderfully funny too.

Credit: SimonRC on #Uncyclopedia

Cornflour tentacle monster

I've played with cornflour (corn starch) a few times, mostly when I was supposed to be mixing it up for cooking. It's strange stuff.

Here it's taken a few steps further (or tentacles further?) with cornflour vibrated at 80Hz.

There are a lot of these games with cornflour on YouTube, culminating in a swimming pool of the stuff, allowing people to actually run over the top of it. I think I'd like to try that.

Watch out, or the bunny gets it

If I didn't damn myself with the God FAQ, I'm sure to with this one.

Here's a clever little game, very flashy of course, but I'm feeling twisted enough this evening to find it funny.

Sadly, I lost. Several times in fact. I wonder if I can lose again...

Beautiful instability

There's no way I could be described as an adrenaline junkie. In fact, I couldn't be further away from the species. So storm chasing is not a hobby for me.

But when you see some of the amazing photography that's out there.... wow! makes me want to go looking for dangerous skys!

This one is from extremeinstability.com


I also have some new wallpaper from the same site. Stunning.

Photos © extremeinstability.com
Reproduced with permission.

Geekless

A lot of my friends are geeks, but I was told today that I will never be one. OK, so I misspelt "perl" as "pearl", but still... never? I can learn!

But maybe he's right. After all, I don't think I will ever consider a titanium spork, or a Yoda plush backpack as "essential gear".

Although the LED faucet lights are something I will have to seriously consider buying.

Credit: Datrio

Religious argument

Some might find this a bit offensive, but after managing to get myself in a religious argument today, The Official God FAQ made me laugh.

I'm not quite so sure about the octopus animation from the same site...

Three dimentional two dimensionality

Or should that title be the other way around?...

Julian Beever is an artist who works largely in chalk on pavements. His most fascinating work uses anamorphosis to give the illusion of three dimensions.

His gallery is wonderful, so many clever works. This pool is one of my favourites:


And this shot shows how the actual drawing is distorted to give the impression of 3D when viewed from the correct spot:


I would love to see one of these in situ. Fascinating.

Photos and art © Julian Beever.
Reproduced with permission.

The geek's lunch box

Here's a nice idea for recycling:


A toasted bagel and avocado in a CD spindle. Such a clever idea!

Although, as the comments point out, they probably don't make CD spindles out of food-safe plastic.

Photo by Flickr user pwka. Licenced under the Creative
Commons Attribution NonCommercial NoDerivs 2.0

Want to go to work tomorrow?

I work flexible hours, and love it. It's great to be able to arrange my own day and decide when and how I get my work done.

But a company in California has gone several steps further, by not regulating what days their employees work. Vacations are flexible, both how many and how long. All they monitor is whether you get the work done.

It's a fascinating idea, and I wonder how far it could go. I can see it working at Wikia - I know I haven't taken all my holiday allowance this year, and I'm sure many of my colleagues haven't either. At Wikia we tend to work far too much, because it's fun!

But I can think of past workplaces where this would not work. Try this at the UK Ministry of Agriculture, and all you would have is empty rooms.

Credit: Ace_NoOne on #Wikia

That's not egg...

This has got to be the strangest kitchen item I've ever seen:


Could you really eat meringues after using that?!

If you are strange enough to want one, they are available here.

credit: Nefretete

The last word is triumphant

This website is a fun one. It's to promote the book No One Belongs Here More Than You by Miranda July. I've got to admit, the site works as a promotion, I want to read this now! I'd be interested to hear if anyone has read her stuff before... and if it's any good.

credit: Nefretete

The unharmonous sannse

I'm trying out StumbleUpon at the moment. The second page I got was a rather cute little noisemaker.

Of course, I tried writing my name on it, but the tune was not pretty. Funnily enough, it seems my birth name is more harmonious than "sann".

(p.s. Oops, I forgot to post this last night. So I'm cheating and backdating. Baaad)

Manual work

With my currently dodgy Internet connection, I know just how these two feel.

Credit: SilentPenguin on #wikia

War of the worlds

Somehow it feels... wrong... to be writing about Microsoft here. Maybe I hang around with geeks too much, I've picked up their ritual disgust at anything M$.

But Microsoft's answer to Google Earth is just amazing. Virtual Earth has a "bird's eye view" that uses spectacular aerial photography rather than satellite images.

Unlike Google Earth, which has quite poor images for England, Virtual Earth is doing well at mapping it. One of the places that's been fully mapped is my home town. There are great views of the pier, the town center, my old school... you can even see the reservoir for the new fountain in progress.

They seem to have tried to keep people out of view by photographing early, but the east view seems later, with more people around than the other views.

Fun!

Credit: TDO

Berlin Bear

Gosh.. no cuteness for days!

How about this little fella?



This is Knut who was born in Berlin zoo and is being used as the symbol of global climate change. It sounds to me as though he has become the victim of far too much political manoeuvring, but then he's not going to know that. And besides... cute!

Credit: Reike
Photo by Jens Koßmagk. Licensed under the Creative
Commons Attribution ShareAlike 2.0 Germany License

Missing the obvious

So here's a question that, it's said, American pre-schoolers managed to answer correctly. I didn't, and I'd love to find some kids to try it out on to see if they really see the answer so easily.

"In which direction is the bus pictured below travelling?"

Any idea?

The answer the children gave was: "left. Because you can't see the door".

Now why didn't I think of that?

Credit: Datrio

Your showing you're self up now.

I have to admit, there are days on IRC When I think Internet Access CAPTCHAs would be a great idea.

I refreshed a few times to see the various examples, but I didn't see my own pet hate, the Greengrocer's apostrophe. Oh the temptation to kick when I see that... and I don't just mean a virtual kick on IRC!

Credit: Datrio

Pooh of Borg

What do you give a friend who is a fanatic about both Star Trek, and Winnie the Pooh?

A borg-assimilated Pooh of course!

Now do I love this? Or am I horrified?

Credit: Bp of #memory-alpha

"Congratulations, you have passed"

I just took a mock driving theory test on the AA driving school site. And amazingly, I passed! "Amazingly" because I've never driven, have had no lessons, and hadn't even looked at what the test was like before. Is it really that easy?

Some of the questions were just silly:

You want to turn left at a junction. The view of the main road is restricted. What should you do?

A. Stay well back and wait to see if something comes
B. Build up your speed so that you can emerge quickly
C. Stop and apply the handbrake, even if the road is clear
D. Approach slowly and edge out until you can see more

If the theory test is that unscary, guess it's time to book those lessons.

On with the feminist boots

Now here's a conflict... I'm shopping for a phone. I want a clam style phone that's attractive, distinctive, that works well, holds a charge and is tri or quad band. As you can guess, it's not been easy finding The One.

Today I came across the Samsung E570. It looks gorgeous. It comes in pink or a beautiful dark purple, the functionality and stand-by time look good, it has good reviews, it's triband, it's expensive but within range, even the camera is a lot better than most I've been looking at.

So what's stopping me?

This little list of features:

• Pedometer
• Fragrance Type
• Biorhythm
• Height/Weight ratio
• Calories counter
• Shopping list

I've heard of niche marketing but this is amazing. They are marketing this to a stereotype. This thing even has a specific scheduler to monitor your menstrual cycle!

But... oh it's shiny...

I Robot

cyborg.namedecoder.com

"Nocturnal Sabotage" eh? Sounds fun...

Dance Monkey Dance

I've been on a funny track for the last few posts, so here's one that's a bit more thoughtful.

Ernest Cline is, says Wikipedia, a comedian, spoken word artist and screenwriter. This piece is one that makes me sit and think every time I see it. It's something I've had in my bookmarks for a while, and won't be clearing out.

Because you can read, and we have a web site.

Here's one that definitely can't be said to be new and exciting. In fact it closed down five years ago. But SatireWire was a jewel of a site, and I wish it were still producing new articles like: Scientist Splits Atom, Finds Toy Prize Inside and Study Finds Women Who Drink Way More Fun To Study.

Or how about the article on the unsuccessful merger of Hinduism and Judaism:

Hinjew leaders today conceded the merger of Hinduism and Judaism has not worked out as planned, as instead of forming a super-religion to fight off the common Islamic enemy, they have instead created a race of 900 million people who, no matter how many times they are reincarnated, can never please their mothers.

Classic stuff.